Friends, it’s finally happened. I’ve gone and gotten the first illness of the year (from a coworker who will not rest until we are all as sick as he is). So I can’t get you the blog post you all deserve; my poor brainbox can’t take the pounding. Instead, while I’m resting, I’m going to share two of my favorite recuperative devices.

First up: GQ. I’m so fortunate to be bedridden with a nice, fresh issue of GQ. It’s a little like reading a magazine you bought in a foreign country. Exotic photographs – Javier Bardem in a $5000 tuxedo, for instance – alongside ads for stuff you’ve never heard of, like Clinique products for men. And the articles. This month has articles about debate science and the 18 all-time worst sports decisions, but there’s always something interesting. A few months ago, I read about a sex coach, one who actually went to watch couples having sex and offered coaching advice. Plus the whole magazine smells ever so nice. I don’t know, I think if I found myself on the cover of GQ – and women have done that – I would feel like I had arrived. Like I’d arrived somewhere with exotic advertisements that smell ever so nice.

Next: Men’s Health. I’ll be honest with you. Men’s Health is not the intellectual powerhouse GQ is, but that makes it more lovable. I have a stash of hard-copy issues near the couch, and I love the sharp diet advice. The food’s sensible, filling and tasty (and the pictures look delicious when all you can manage is tea and Ritz crackers). But if GQ is like going to a foreign country, Men’s Health is a little like hanging out in the locker room (with your invisibility cloak on). Sex advice for men from women – some of which is spot on – shares space with fitness routines meant to flatten abs and sculpt the upper body.

More importantly, there are pictures of men doing all this stuff. Sometimes there’s a poster you can pull out with a diet plan or a workout diagram and a nice picture of a dude on it.

You can get to a lot of this stuff from the Men’s Health website, too. I think they once had a video of Jason Statham doing a workout routine, but that might be the low-grade fever talking.

Whoo! When the low-grade fever starts talking about Jason Statham, it’s time to lie down and listen. And watch. And maybe take a nap. Don’t wait until your next sick day to hit the men’s magazines, ladies. It’s all so much nicer when your state isn’t altered.