Cocktailery: Spiced Rum, Merry!

Last week, on the W3 blog, I mentioned that this can be a tough season for single people. Truth is, the holidays and the start of a new year (or, depending on what you believe, the end of the world) can make this time of year hard for any sane person. In my favorite holiday movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Clark Griswold experiences an emotional breakdown of sorts before asking his father for advice about how to survive a “full-blown, four-alarm” family Christmas.

“How did you get through it?” Clark asks.

“I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels,” his father responds.

(Two quick observations: ABC Family is comfortable with Clark’s dad saying that Clark has “cocked up” Christmas but doesn’t want him to mention Jack Daniels. And this dialogue between Clark and his dad is a genuinely touching moment in this coarse, goofball comedy.)

Jack’s a good guy to have around, certainly. He never has any conflicting plans. He’s willing to do whatever you’re doing. Some of your relatives already know him. Jack’s a good bet.

I, however, prefer the company of the Captain. Blame my uniform fetish.

The little bottle of Captain Morgan – the one you can get into your purse or the inside pocket of your sports coat – that guy’s going to get you through the thick of the holidays. Keep the Captain close by, and he will smooth over all the rough spots this holiday season. You’ll smile and chuckle through the Annual Recitation of Grievances. You’ll shake off the Intrusive Holiday Questions. Unjustified Criticism will feel like just another conversation. A teensy bit of help from the Captain might not eliminate all those holiday tensions, but they will soften just enough around the edges.

Let the Captain join forces with these three merry mixers for a happier holiday!

Splash a little Captain Morgan into the bottom of your mug before pouring eggnog into it. The weight of the nog should mix it up nicely, and unless you used more than a little, the smell won’t give you away. You can try this with hot chocolate, too. If you’re using instant cocoa, you might be best off to let the Captain lower himself into your cup after stirring in the chocolate but before adding the marshmallow. For your heavier, milk-in-a-saucepan hot chocolate, proceed as you would with eggnog; the same principle applies. Finally, hot apple cider just loves the Captain. Cider is fragrant enough to effectively conceal the Captain’s distinctive scent, but it’s not terribly heavy, so there’s not much between you and the buzz.

Big plans for the holidays? Let the world know in the comments.

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